I had had SO many postponements and delays, it had been like the cosmic joker has had its way with me,  so I was trying to figure out which delay was “meaningful” and just surrendered to not knowing.

I woke up and experienced not knowing who I was in the night,  and I consciously went with the idea that I  didn’t need to know my name, that I am spirit and identity is temporary.   I could remember I was in a body, so was ok with that, even knowing the body is temporary. In fact it was like a preparation for death, when we really do leave this identity and feel the eternity of spirit, letting the body go “with the programme”! This experience  was also a kind of appreciation for this earthly existence, since i got in touch with its impermanent nature so directly.